The fine art of bitching comprises following three laws:
- The person you are bitching about should not be present amongst the bitching party.
- The person you are bitching about can be from the bitching party.
- Bitching should be done properly with proper and authentic proofs.
- Never bitch in front of the best friend of the target.
With these subtle points in mind, the ‘trustworthy’ students of inglees onurs kilaas usually engage themselves in formidable bitching about the other students of inglees onurs kilaas. The following is an exemplary example in which A, B, C, D and E gather themselves under the “neem ka ped” and bitch about a certain person called Rahul Sharma.
A: Btw what do you think about Rahul?
C: That he is very fat. And snobby.
D: Oh yes, he just listens and listens and never talks. I don’t like him. And when he speaks he speaks only of his IIT. I used to that in Roorkee. I used to do this Roorkee. Always trying to show off.
A: Yes, have you ever noticed how he jumps off whenever his phone rings? Bloody show off. Trying to impress upon us that he is very important.
C: Yeah, you are right A. And his bloody blog. Pestering us to read and read. As if we have nothing in the world except to read his blog. Have you noticed how, in every five minutes, he updates his status with his new blog entry?
B: But he talks very nicely. I like him very much.
A, C, D and E: Ha ha ha ha. Lol….
C: Don’t tell me that you have a crush on that bear shaped monkey.
E: And did you read his chapter 9. Loose motions….ha ha ha ha…..
A: Yeah. And he also saw our hands. Some sadhu baba he thinks himself. Bloody uncle.
B: By the way do you think he is single?
C: Keep quiet B. And have you ever noticed how he just goes away from us and starts looking somewhere else. I am sure he wants us to go to him. Walking upto him as if he were a great person. My foot.
A: Bloody ***beep****.
E: . I think he thinks himself some kind of bond. A bond who sacrificed his IIT to join English Honors.
D: Hush….He is coming here now…..