11. Heaven

I am sitting in an air conditioned car of Metro, Delhi Metro to be precise. And I am in my dreams… dreams, which are sometimes more real than reality… dreams, which my usual self succumbs to whenever he finds himself alone. But I am not alone here, in this E Sridharan’s boon to Delhi, the national capital of India…India, our country… our love…the place where we were born… our motherland… the place where we placed our first games. I am dreaming about those times, when I was pure… innocent…I remember too well…I want to go back to them…

Yes, I look back to my ‘happy’ past… happy, because I know I am not happy now…I want to be happy again. There is a woman sitting in front of me. There is a small child in her lap. And he is smiling…I look at him…I smile. He smiles back. I smile back…this time genuine…not forced. The smile just came out…I want to smile like that…always…I still remember those days when I was a child. I am a grown up now…From Poshumpa, from pakadam pakdai to vish amrit to ooch-neech ka papda, from cricket to football, from Mario to spiderman, from volleyball to basketball, from NFS to AOE. The journey has been long. The journey has been winding. And the journey has been tiring, as well as invigorating.

I am past that age. I am older now. My body still has its vigour…may be much more intense than before…but I am older nonetheless. As a child turns into a boy, as a boy turns into a teen; as, a teen gets converted into a man…a layer develops around him…a translucent layer of mist…of knowledge… yes…knowledge makes us imperceptive…we lose our natural tendency of enjoying things. We are laughing hard…harder than we could ever do…but still…; we can define it as a laugh…we can proclaim to the world that we have enjoyed what occurred a few seconds ago…but is it really so? Are there no other important things in our mind? Are you not worried about some lesson to be done? Are you not worried about some meeting? Are you not worried, that how people would react to the way you are laughing? Are you not worried about the next joke you are going to crack so that people in front of you may get impressed? Are you really laughing because you think that the joke is good? Don’t tell me. Ask yourself.

But there are moments. Yes…there are moments in our lives when we become a child again. We lose ourselves then. We stop worrying about the past. We stop craving about the future. We just live the present. Yes…then our laughs are genuine…then our smiles are legitimate…honest to ourselves…honest, to the world…

Today, I had some of those rare moments. Today, I really laughed. I laughed hard…harder than ever before. And I enjoyed…the voice was coming from inside my heart…from oonch-neech ka papda to vish amrit…to chain-chain, we played all of them…we, the students of Inglees onurs kilaas…I had thought that I would write a whole post about what happened today…about how I relived my life again…I wanted to imprint 7th September, 2010 into my blog. But tell me honestly, can any form of writing might have done justice to that? Some things can only be felt…and they can be felt only from inside…from experience…today’s day was one of them…

Pure, sublime, empyreal and consummate…today we experienced heaven.

(please read: If I were a baby again)

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This entry was posted in Emotions, happiness, Love, Philosophical and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 11. Heaven

  1. sundeep kumar says:

    hello bhaiya how are you and family. i am not very much used to reading blogs but surely i want to coz they are
    your’s. everything of you and in you delights me to have a more realistic view and insight of it.
    tell me how to get accesse to all your blogs.
    LOVE YOU@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

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