12. नई घोड़ी नई चाल-1

“Good Morning boys and girls and girlfriends and boy friends and book worms and book repellents. Today, we are all gathered here, under the नीम का पेड़ to watch the legendary match of ऊंच नीच which is being played by none other than ईंगलीस ओनर्स किलास. The atmosphere is magnificent. The sun is a bit shady and there are no clouds in the commonwealth skies of Delhi. Temperature: 29 Kelvin and humidity: 78.4%. A perfect weather for what we say, a perfect game. And here are the players, silently lined up on the concrete chair(s), waiting for the denner to start the game. The legendary denner, who was chosen by the sacred ritual of पुकम. The players are in their ‘uniforms’ and they are tensed. They look at each other for support. They chant the famous ode:

ऊंच नीच का पापड़ा, गधे ने मारा झापडा
ऊंच मांगी नीच?

The denner: नीच…

And thus starts the game”

If there were an Nobel Prize of “the most eccentric people of the world”, I am sure the students of ईंगलीस ओनर्स किलास would be the clear winners. For they always come up with such great and out of the world ideas that leaves everyone baffled.

Take today’s instance for example. The students gathered themselves under me. I was happy. They started talking non-sense. I was happy. They always talk non-sense. Let them do it once again. I thought. They were talking about some master I think. And Abhimanyu and Adityan were trying to amuse the girls around. Now don’t be surprised here. I have already told you that they flock here all the time. I know all of their names!!

“And now the denners, sorry I forgot to notice that there were two denners. They are running hocus pocus. Manyu stoops down. He looks at the narrow path between the denners. He jumps. Pra Nav runs askew. Of course he is the fastest of all. Fast as a  hare. And manyu finally skips past. Ash screams in excitement. She jumps from her concrete chair and there goes three people down on the realms of नीच. But they are back and the game is on…Nobody is hurt. Sikka is trying to play…She is continuously challenging the players. Ekta tries to step over the concrete chairs. Even Kanchan is playing. Earlier before the game it was rumored that she might not play owing to her ‘shopping’ engagements. Ms. Gullu is jumping from one concrete chair to another. She has left her sophistication aside for the time being. Unlike Sikka she is making the denners run. And there is the red bull. RSV. He fires past Khushboo(the denner) making her feel dazed. He is a bullet. 😛 (मेरा ब्लॉग है!!) Akansha is the other denner. With her ‘dumb’ stance, she tries to touch anyone who runs past her. Adi is invisible behind the players. Only is height. He is too fast for players. Arsh is enjoying too. He earlier wanted to go home to eat something and get back. But Pra nav brought him back. Just now, Bimala runs past Akansha. Manyu made one more pass. He has been continuously successful in running from ऊंच to नीच and back again. Pra Nav and Manyu are playing a very queer strategy of theirs. They are making a mockery of the game. There is Ankita. She is making full use of her ‘haughty’ figure. It is very tough to get hold of her. And Sikka just made a legendary transition. She finally managed to get past the line of control. Khusboo is confused. But what was that?………..”

So what I was talking about? Oh yes, today’s instance. Today after their little boring chat, they started playing ऊंच नीच under me. ऊंच नीच, a funny little game which, my friends tell me (telepathically), little children play in their spare time. But college going students? Can you believe that?

But you have to believe me.I tell you these people are crazy. Usually students sit under me to chat, to bitch, to read books, to talk about their studies and about various teachers of the college. Even they do that…sometimes. But ऊंच नीच का पापड़ा, गधे ने मारा झापडा? First of all I thought that they were just standing on the benching below me to perform some heroic….thing…I even thought that they would salute me after wards. But that was too much even from my side.

Nevertheless, after a ritualistic procedure of पुकम (a childish way of choosing the first person who will give den), they started their game.I was chosen as the commentator. There were people all around. From seniors of English Honors to juniors of BA Program. The stage was set and all the eyes were set upon it.

………….”Oh yes, seems that the bull tumbled over. And what is he doing. Seems like there is an argument going on there. RSV and Ash. The cameras clearly shows that Ash had illegitimately pushed Rahul in the abyss. And now the Rahul is giving the den. And there are people running past him. And there is Manyu standing on the turf. And Rahul touches him and then Manyu’s den. People are gaining momentum. They are all effused with sweat. Apoorva is making a video of the game. he is the official choreographer of the game. He was selected from one lakh people who applied for the job. And just now Akansha managed to touch someone. Wait that someone is none other than Ash. Now Manyu and Ash. Each taking charge of the abyss. And Ekta is in full form. She ran past Ash at break-necking speed. Even Supriya is playing with vigor. There is a handkerchief in one of her hands. And just now Ash touched Akansha. Akansha again. Seems like she is bent upon giving dens. Kanchan is running around me on the concrete chair. And so is Ms Gullu behind her. Pra Nav is in his usual form. Rahul is panting like a dog. Dogs are also watching this legendary game. The legendary dogs of Hansraj college. And then Manyu. yes manyu….he manages to touch Arsh. Now Arsh, in his T shirt and his Bermudas. And Akansha. Sikka just managed to make her second pass. A legendary feat for her and the team. Ekta fires past Arsh. He was too confused between choosing her and Ankita. And there is Khushboo. She is vigilant. She does not want to give the den again. All the players are now drenched with wet sweat. Sweat is always wet though. Arsh asks the players to take rest and eat something. Manyu is bent upon playing football. Adi calls for time break. And everybody stops. At once.”

to be continued……

A SPECIAL THANKS TO PRA NAV FOR HIS HELP.

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One Response to 12. नई घोड़ी नई चाल-1

  1. ananya.. says:

    spelling mishtakes….its “pukam” n nt pugam..den..gadhe ne jhapda maara, laapda nai..n arsh wears bermudas, nt beermudas…n btw main @ baar se zyade bhagi thi..huh

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